issue no. 28: utopia

It’s quite a sensational act of rebellion to even consider centering joy, or feelings at all

These days. Radical even.
To think about valuing and accepting, possibly even celebrating, raw emotion.
Living in that self-inflicted warmth without leaving room for repercussion or judgment,

Well, that’s fucking revolutionary.

A lot of people don’t want to take that leap from solid ground into the Pit of Feelings.

Most don’t want to venture into the unknown,
Even if what they know is less than fine. People are more willing to live with

Familiar mediocrity.
Thinking you’re better off standing in shit than diving headfirst into innumerable

Bliss is completely crazy, but we often do it anyway.
I definitely do...well, did.

Feeling euphoric is getting to stand on the precipice of allowing your feelings to fall.

For me, utopia isn’t freedom from discontent or pain. Rather,
It is the ability to feel in those moments, to move on and through them the best way I

Know how.
Utopia is feeling free to embody helplessness, and even feel a little nauseous,

When I think of Wyoming (yes, the state and it seems insane. I’m aware).
It is feeling pure delight and a smidge of melancholy
When I see a parent and child on the subway, happy together.
Utopia is knowing I am present, allowing the moment to flood the Pit,

And, if necessary, granting forgiveness because it is a gift I give myself

So I can float.

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Kristin Satterlee