ISSUE NO. 10: PARALLEL

My love,

     I woke up today not knowing how or what to feel. I remember, vividly, you telling me not to start my day off in conflict. Going on about how it deteriorates my face, or even more so, how it ruins my mind. And to that, I respond with a nod and an ‘I understand’ as I continue to perform the same ol’ tricks over and over again. But you must forgive me, I promise, I do try. It is just -- difficult, very difficult. Fear not though, the world won’t be getting rid of me anytime soon. I have too many things I need to get off of my chest. This letter to you, being one of them. My fingers haven’t lost signs of life, and my legs still shake with excitement. As I climb up the highest mountain on this planet, I can feel my heart racing. I reach the top, and my lips tremble before, finally, opening. I shout out at the world: I was here. I am here. I will always be here. 

     When I say, ‘my love’, I hope you recognize that I truly do love you. I’m trying to, at least. We have our ups and downs but I’ll always try for you. I won’t give up on you because I know too many people have. The same way you’ll never give up on me. But, let me apologize for getting carried away. I’m not writing you to discuss our relationship. 

     My love, I’m writing to you because although I speak of bravery and ‘shouting from mountains’ as I call it, I’m terrified. The other day, I was walking downtown and something caught my eye: a large flower bush with violet petals that carried the same radiance and ability to strike one down in his tracks that you, too, carry. I went up to the bush, and I reached out to take a petal, but I stopped myself. I didn’t want to ruin it. Not that I view myself as some sort of demon, but it was perfect the way it was. There was no need to change its current state in any way. I walked off into the rest of my day. Forty-eight hours later, the petals had begun to wilt. Another twenty-four hours, and they’d completely fallen off of the bush, onto the sidewalk.